time passes very fast... and i am already in sec4... this year is my critical year... everyone around me keep repeating the same sentence... from the starting of the school... Mr Mathew organized a " super teen" camp for sec4s1, 4s2 and 4s3... after the camp... all of us have that kind of spirit of scoring 7 "A1"s in our O level... our determination is so strong, but... after few days ... some of our determination had already gone... but what is important is me... my self... seriously, i know clearly that what is the aim in my mind... but... it seems unrealistic after Ms Lee ( our form teacher) told us that... it is REALLY tough to get an A1 for your English... she is just have a small hope that our English will at least a B3... my determination of getting A1 for my English immediately drop down from the top of my heart... she said this to the whole class.. she is hoping that "we" at least must get an B3... and my English standard is about LAST in the class.. which means... after 2 months of teaching us... she expects that most of our classmates to get a B3, then.. means that it is even harder for me to get a B3.. or even worse B4 or C5...
eh... i am really stress of talking about my English.. i had been studying in singapore about 3 years and yet it seems like my English is not improving at all... there was a lot of real life example whereby China students with very poor English language at Sec3 and yet can get a A1 in their o level... it is possible.. i also think that it is possible.. but somehow... last time... my determination of doing everything is so strong but honesty... this time round getting A1 of my English is so far after Ms Lee's expectation...
everyday in mind my i am thinking that why cant i concentrate of my study.. but somehow... its like there is much much much lesser "...ships" in my Singapore school life... again... friendship, relationships with my parents... all these is so difficult to find in Singapore school life than studying in Malaysia. When i was in Malaysia, i have no time for giving a single thought of this kind of things... may be.. my most difficulties are getting through this kind of things... i am an emotional person... in Chinese ， 重感情的人 . and.. every times, when i am sad... i feel like finding someone to talk to but !!! i really dun know who to go to !! really dun know.. there is not a good friend can talk to me... i treated someone as my best friends.. but... his action makes me feels worse... forget it.. dun talk about it le... in the end... i have no a best friend thats all... in another side... the time which i spend with my family is much more lesser from last time... and... they seem like not know me well anymore... there is a lot of misunderstanding and problem in communicating with them... i dare not say any things nowadays... is sad... but.. its yet so true... that if i say.. they will get wrong messages and turn as much as way to scold me... and i hate the MOST things that found in my dad is....... i think i shouldn't write down... even though i hate that kind of attitude but i still trying over and over to forgive ... cause i still love them... and i know they do as well... but... i just cannot find out why... the thing cannot been found at all !
everyone had only 1 chance of living in this world... whether you care or not... the rule just doesn't change, what i think is most important thing in the life is... happy everyday... not a single regret of living... cause.. i am really really afraid that what will i "go" after i was dead... i do not wan to leave this lovable world... and Mr Goh... did you remember that you asked our class whether we had ever give a thought about what happened after we die ? yes.. i did... since P6... it is not a good thing actually... haizx... i shall not carry on... cause my tears are dripping...
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
